Life begins at 30 something

Something happens to a lady when she hits the 30 years mark. Ok maybe not all ladies but in my circle of friends something happened.

You know how in your 20s you would party all night, get home and sleep with your makeup on? Remember how your metabolism was at its optimum? There was no stress when you ate that MacDonald’s straight from the club.

Those were good times.

I find that now I am obsessed with what I eat, what I drink and what goes on my skin. I am obsessed with getting my skin to look healthy and smooth. All the stuff I didn’t care for in my 20s. I am obsessed with looking and feeling great.

There’s several reasons why.

The reason I started running was so I could feel great again. And now that I am at my ideal weight…. wait for it…..51kg (YES!!!!), I want to keep looking this way. When you look and feel great, you feel like you can conquer the world. You have that “BRING IT ON!” vibe about yourself.

It also doesn’t hurt anybody to get compliments on how great you look. I know for me, what really turns me on is when people think I am 25. That really tickles me.

And you must know, we have great role models of ladies in their late 30s and 40s who are banging. I mean guys look at Uyanda Mbuli, that girl on point. She wont let herself go. She is refusing. It is not an option. Have you also seen Unathi lately? What a fireball!!  I can go on and on.

I also love that we live in the information age where these ladies are able to share with us what is working for them. The other day, Unathi  posted something about using methylated spirit to remove stretch marks. I mean that alone started a revolution. On my whatsapp group chats, ladies were talking about how they were going to buy it that very afternoon. It was that serious.

I also want to live longer and enjoy my pension money you know. I look at some of my aunts and I think aowa I don’t want to look and go through all that at 60. They have all sorts of aches and pains. I mean when I show them pics of Barbara Streisand (dithaka tsa bona) ba kwata. Wrong.

And it’s not about weight or being a certain size. Don’t misunderstand me. It’s about lifestyle. Look at Judith Sephuma, she is running and eating well. I bet she feels amazing.

So I think in our 30s we realise that we are not getting younger. We realise that we need to invest in our bodies so that they can carry us into our old age. I think we realise that getting older does not mean you can relax your standards, mkhaba and cellulite must still be fought with everything in you. I think because most of us will have kids in our 30s, we realise how important it is to keep the body healthy.

Whatever the motivation is, I am loving it. I am loving the time and effort I spend on me. My girlfriends were laughing at me when I told them that I wake up at 5h30am so I can have enough time to dry skin brush; shower; put coconut oil; put my anti-cellulite cream  and then put on my spirit cocoa butter mix. Flip in between there, I also have the lemon juice I use for pigmentation and acne scars. LMAO!! It’s a lot but listen I am investing in me here.

But imagine if I started caring for myself like this in my 20s?

Lastly, ladies I hope you are drinking your 2 litres of water each day. I add mint, lemon and cucumber in my water. Mkhaba GONE. Skin looking fresh. Try it.

🙂

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Why mara?

So let’s talk frankly

What is the beef about?

I am talking to you Intelligent, Black, Fearless Female Manager in Corporate SA

I don’t mean to be disrespectful but I think it is time we have this discussion.

You don’t seem to be happy to have another Intelligent, Black, Up and coming female in your team.

This by the way is not to say that there is no white on white beef or whatever, this blog is addressing that  Black Female leader because its a question that has been asked in my social circles.

So lets talk…

When a young, hungry to learn black girl hits the floor, dressed in her cute ZARA navy suit, why do you look at her Up and Down? (ladies will know what look I am talking about). This is silly but I still want to raise it.

How about when she asks a question in a meeting you are chairing, why do you roll your eyes?(this has happened folks)

oh my absolute favourite…you walk up to her desk, ask to see her handbag then ask if it is “REAL”. What is that all about ma’am?

I must tell you, I have always known that I was a corporate girl. I’ve had images of myself in my blazers and shirts since I was a young girl. I know this is the place I am meant to be, not a hospital or a court. The dream was of course inspired by images of successful black females like Ipeleng Mkhari, Khanyi Dhlomo, Wendy Luhabe and the list goes on. So I was excited at the idea that in my space, I will probably get to be mentored by a female in this league.

I graduated, started working and my very first boss is a black lady. No names mentioned. It is no secret that I am a lover of #BlackGirlIsMagic so you can imagine how disappointed I was when I realised it didn’t live in my department.

So I know how it feels when you are fresh in an environment, you want to learn and also contribute but you constantly have to be made to feel small and insignificant by another female who happens to be your race and your boss. When you come into work and you constantly have to answer questions about how much your shoes cost and how come you can afford overseas travel.

Why mara?

I often wonder if white ladies field these type of questions at work

I think many young black ladies would agree with me when I say we look up to the fearless black female managers but we have been let down. We are not saying let’s be friends, we are saying mentor us. We are saying support us. We are saying stop being so interested about what my husband or boyfriend drives.

Have you forgotten how it was when you started?

Let’s squash the beef if there is

I am inspired by where you are.

Let’s squash it tuu

or am I talking to myself here?

 

I am not a runner..but I can be one.

runner2016 January I put on my running shoes and hit the road

I have had so many invitations to join running clubs, run this race, join this park run. I was just not interested.

I woke up one day and did 1km – 13:49 minutes later I was finished and thinking that was not fun.

You see I was tired of waking up tired, going to bed tired. I was tired of being a couch potato. I did not do any physical exercise for the past 10 years or so. I got bored of being boring.

The next day my thighs were so sore, I thought this running thing is really not fun.

After work I thought that I have two choices, going back to boring or going to hit the road and possibly enjoying it this time. I did another 1km. My time improved. I took a snap shot of the running stats and sent it to my girlfriends( this is the trick girls and boys). They were shocked that Sema got off her couch to go run.I was encouraged.

I ran every day of that week. I felt drawn to go out there and run. I would rock back home after work and feel lazy, but something in me was not allowing me to be a bum again. My girlfriends were checking up on me, they held me accountable. So I went back out there. Conquered 2kms the second week. Conquered 4kms the third week. MAGIC!

I am in that sweet spot now, it hurts and it is tough but I just love that feeling after you have completed a 5km run. I am addicted to that feeling. I want to feel like that EVERY DAY!!!

Listen, if you have never been active and you want to feel great and alive, YOU MUST TRY RUNNING. When the early morning breeze hits your face and you are moving your legs- it is EVERYHING!

TRY IT

It is one drug I will recommend to all who want to feel something different, do something different.

“You People”

This will not be a long ass blog

People are saying that there has been racial tensions of late. I dispute this. There has always been racial tensions.

I am not really excited to write about racial incidents, a lot has been written and I just feel like I don’t have anything smart or meaningful to add to this burning topic but today infront of my friends and their kids we were called “you people”

I want to know why people always have to go there. Who is “you people”? And infront of my kids? What are you trying to do?

“You people”. I am going to follow up with this lady. I want to know gore “you people” ke bo mang.

I can’t be talking to myself

I came back with more questions than answers

I took leave for a couple of days. I felt tired, very tired. I didn’t need a trip overseas, I didn’t want to hang around Joburg either because I would end up in malls all day everyday. I wanted to rest. I wanted to think. I wanted to reconnect my body with my head again.So off to Limpopo I went!

Lebowakgomo was quiet, my mother’s house was peaceful so I got to sleep, think about my life, eat, sleep and think about my life some more.By my life I mean my career.

Few things got clarified in my head during this time.

1. I am not where I am supposed to be.

2. I used to be passionate about what i do. I haven’t been for the past 3 years.

3. Now more than ever I need a mentor.

4. I am done being operational

So now that I’m clear on the following, I’m so nervous. You see it is clear I need a change, but I don’t know what kind of a change I need. Is it a new career path, new company, or do I go off and do my own thing? I feel so drained just thinking about this. I don’t even know where to start to get the answers.

I am going back to work tomorrow and all I keep thinking is how I don’t want to go back.

The Limpopo trip was great, but man it has left me with a lot of homework.

Something tells me I am about to embark on a big assignment regarding my career.

It cannot be a mid life crisis ne? I am only 31 years young…

Someone out there must be going through this, I can’t be talking to myself

It is love I can never explain adequately

24 January 2013. 9h05. Morningside Medi Clinic. They wheeled me into theatre, I knew my life was about to change forever.

The month before I gave birth, I spent a lot of time with my mom. Talking about pregnancy, the terrible nausea I had, what being a great parent is and about my childhood. I enjoyed this time because my mom was sharing her experience with me. With every story she told, I knew that I’m about to experience something magical. Love that cannot be put into words.

I also had a lot of time to reflect on what kind of a parent I want to be. I knew I wanted to be warm, I wanted to be present, I wanted to give lots of hugs and kisses. Sometimes I look at Vuyi now and ask myself if I am half the things I committed to before she was born. I always feel like I can do more.

On the eve of her turning 2, I am grateful to God. I give thanks for his mercy. I am grateful for her safe arrival on that morning of the 24th. she was a small baby, weight was 23kg. Her doctor was worried but I had faith. She turns 2 tomorrow and I am engulfed with such gratitude.

I have written about her on a mother’s day special publication about a year ago. It was a tribute to her. The love she brought into my life and her father’s. Today I write this as a tribute to her. She has been a wonderful daughter to me. She has been my light, my smile, my true north.

she loves me so.First thing she says when she wakes up is “Mama”.When I walk in from work she screams for me like ladies do when reuniting with a girlfriend they haven’t seen for a while. she loves me even when i’m too tired to play with her. she loves me.

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But I love her more. I think I have kept my promise. For someone who is not too “touchy feely”, I am warm. I give lots of hugs and kisses. I sing and dance to Waitjukutja with her. I am present(we working on it ok!).

I don’t know what it is about this birthday!!!!

what I know is I am grateful for this opportunity to parent this girl. I am forever thankful for her smile, her polite nature, her hugs and love. She is my greatest teacher in this life thing. I LOVE HER.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY VUVU! MAY YOU SEE MANY MORE!

Love,

Mama

I recently wrote an email, a long one.. I got no response

I know I’m not a writer. I tell everyone I know because for some reason people think I could be great at it. I’m not. I’m a talker. And a little bit of a listener.

but lately I have a need to write, I need to get my thoughts out. Not because I think anyone will be interested in what I write but because I need to know I’m still sane.

You see I wrote an email a few weeks ago, a long email. Not my kind of style but I wrote it. I read it over and over again before sending it. I wanted to make sure that the grammar is correct. I wanted to make sure the message is clear and concise. I wanted to make sure I was making sense, I mean after all I have a fear of writing, I’ve never been good at it.

Pressed SEND. Till today no response. Lol!!!

I’m laughing now but I was very hurt. I stripped myself bare on that mail. I laid all my feelings on that email.I stripped all my layers and exposed my true feelings. NO RESPONSE!

so I took this challenge, that I’m going to write. Not to that person though, I’m going to write to myself via this blog. Firstly to prove to myself that I can give this writing thing a shot and excel. Secondly to check if I’m still sane because MAYBE the reason I got no response is that I made no sense at all. Lol! It is possible.

Look out for my blogs, I will be writing about My day.My work. My daughter. My life. My love life. My struggles. Promise not to judge ok?!

I know I’m not talking to myself